I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
