I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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