you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
