I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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