forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
