There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
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im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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