Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
