Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My butt remains clenched, sir.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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