I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
