...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize