She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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