Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
