He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
