After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize