you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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