You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
