ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
