pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
