You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
