He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
babies were throwing up all over the place
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
