Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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