i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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