you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
