Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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