thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
