That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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