Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
