Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
