he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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