I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
