I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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