And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
