This girl is more easily done than said...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
