ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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