that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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