Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
