we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
