You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
