he thought i was a dude.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
