My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize