Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
