The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think your dad took our porno
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
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