Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
