So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
