im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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