So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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