I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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