Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
