My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
