the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
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Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
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I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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