just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
