Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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