Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
