your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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