i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
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The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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