Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
