is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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