how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
