OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
