So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
