playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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