I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
