Pappa wants mamma naked
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
two words...techno handjob
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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