so let's talk penis.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
