Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
