Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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