My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
